“Beta, what is this Res Ipsa Loquitur you keep muttering?” my grandfather asked, his voice a slow, deliberate rumble like a judge pronouncing a verdict. “Is it some new kind of TikTok dance?”
“Dada, no, it’s not a dance,” I sighed dramatically, a skill I’d perfected over countless late nights that produced more yawns than legal briefs. “It’s a Latin legal concept. It means ‘the thing speaks for itself.’ Like, if a bag of cement falls from a construction site and lands on your car, you don’t need a witness. The bag of cement on your car is all the evidence you need.”
Dada took a long, thoughtful sip of his chai. “Ah, so you mean, action speaks louder than words, then.” He gestured towards my desk, a chaotic mountain of unopened law books, their spines mocking me with their unread authority. “So, when a law student’s books are still pristine in their plastic wrapping, and his final exams are tomorrow, does that mean action speaks louder than words?”
I groaned. “Dada, that’s not a legal doctrine. That’s just… a personal failing.”
“Beta, your mother’s repeated requests for you to study, and your consistent lack of compliance, is a textbook case of promissory estoppel,” he declared, his voice rising. “She has relied on your empty promises, and now her hopes are being broken.” He paused for dramatic effect. “And your grades? They’ve consistently set a precedent for your future—a clear case of stare decisis.”
He continued, now practically acting out a courtroom scene. “Your phone’s constant buzzing and your obsession with social media are your actus reus, your ‘guilty act.’ And your ‘guilty mind’ that knows you should be studying but chooses not to? That’s your mens rea. Together, they form a perfect case of criminal liability against yourself! Your actions are so blatant, I’m considering issuing an injunction to prevent you from using any electronic devices. Only books!”
I slumped onto the sofa, defeated. “Dada, you’re subjecting me to a brutal cross-examination. This is a classic case of force majeure—the irresistible force of my laziness has prevented me from studying.”
Dada’s laugh was a low rumble. “Force majeure? Beta, your laziness is not an ‘irresistible force.’ It is a conscious choice. The only thing that is irresistible is your impending graduation. It will happen, whether you’re ready or not. So stop trying to use legal loopholes for your personal laziness.”
He gestured to the books. “The case is clear. The evidence is overwhelming. Action speaks louder than words. Now, go and act on your responsibilities. Time is of the essence. It’s a summary trial, and the verdict is about to be announced.”
Procrastination is not a legal defense. Our actions, or lack thereof, are a far more powerful testament to our character and diligence than any words we might use to excuse ourselves. In life as in law, the most important submissions are the ones we actually make.
